Books in April

THE ANATOMY LESSON

The third book of the Zuckerman books sees our hero plagued by a mystery illness that forces him to spend his days sprawled on a play mat, getting soused and receiving visits from an array of ladies. In the latter half of the book he leaves the mat and heads out to Chicago to interview for medical school. What a nut. Of course he's in no state to interview for anything so after a slow start, a mad pitch of lunacy and bullshit builds when Zuckerman's out and about.

THE ONLY ALIEN ON THE PLANET

Most online reviewers of this book allowed the appalling cover art or the lack of extraterrestrials to ruin this book for them. Idiots. It's a book intended for teenagers about a boy who never speaks and the classmates who try to befriend him. I found this book very refreshing. It has all the typical elements of a YA novel but never gives in to melodrama, it's very wholesome and grounded. The romance is subtle and tense but it doesn't eclipse everything else that's going on. I don't want to say too much about it for fear of ruining it. Buy this book and read it. They have copies at Amazon for a penny! Thanks to Jane for the recommendation.

EVERYTHING IS ILLUMINATED

I started reading this book about five years ago but gave up on it after ten pages or so. I read the first part of the book quite closely this time to see what could have made me abandon it all those years ago, but I still have no idea about what could have bothered me. Perhaps it was the way the story was told. I thought it was ingenious but it could so easily have been irritating. Chapters from a kind of magic realist novel about the history of a Ukrainian village interspersed with the story of an American in the present day trying to find the village, told by his tour guide. I really enjoyed this book. I loved the relationships between the characters. Hooray, I liked a book.

I MARRIED A COMMUNIST

I Married a Communist is beautifully written and as stout a novel as you would expect from Philip Roth, it's just not very interesting. There's little humour and it's so serious it's almost earnest. Uh-oh. Last time I disregarded a book by one of my much-loved authors he died. I hope Philip Roth is made of sterner stuff than George McDonald Fraser.

Eurovision Imminent

Tomorrow is Eurovision. In my family Eurovision is second only to Christmas in terms of excitement and money spent on food and drink. The show is on in the evening and we traditionally build up with a long day of Scrabble, Kettle Chips and houmous. Hummus? Whatever. Norway is this year's host country. The contest is being held in Oslo.

The show is divided into 3 sections.

1. There's a couple of hours of songs which is the best part. We note our favourites so that we can root for them during the arduous scoring process. Each song is preceded by a 30 second (or so) film showing us something good about the host country. They're supposed to be like tourism advertisements but they're so weird sometimes that the message gets lost.

2.After all the songs have been sung there's a recess while everyone votes. The host country puts on a stage show. It's usually a mixture of deranged and dull so this is a good time to go to the loo or grab a drink or take a nap.

3. Next is the arduous scoring process. Each country votes for their top acts and awards points. The host country links up one by one (via satellite probably) with each participating country and they give their scores in both French and English. This takes a while as there are 40-odd countries participating. In the distant past the winners would be decided by a panel of judges. Recently they tried phone voting but that didn't work because no-one voted for the UK because everyone hates us. Now it's a combination of phone voting and a panel of judges.

Remembrance of Eurovisions Past

2006 - My boyfriend got sick and missed most of the songs including this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z75mLlg4uO0
Thanks for rocking, Lithuania. Lordi won this year's contest. One of the stand-out moments for me was when the hosts linked up with Holland and the scores-man remarked, "Ha ha ha, you look like Will and Grace!"

They really really did!

2008 - A.K.A. worst Eurovision ever. Kevin was off at a party celebrating his brother's recent wedding, Lucie was too drunk to show up and Ellie was hepped up on pain killers and fell asleep on the floor after about 15 minutes. So it was just me and Ellie's boyfriend left to awkward around for four hours. It was almost as bad as the time I had gastroenteritis and missed Christmas.

2009 - This was the first Eurovision we watched in high definition. Also the first Eurovision without Terry Wogan's wry brogue commentating throughout. Graham Norton did a good job though, I think! Can't really decide who's better.

Journey

I wanted to post a little bit about things I spot on my bus ride to work. It's a lot less weird in Leeds than back in Cottingham/Hull but there are still plenty of things to enthrall and fascinate.

The Lion

The first thing I like to spot is the best thing and sadly the only thing I have not photographed. When I first noticed The Lion I was very eager for my boyfriend to see it but feared that we would drive away before he had the chance; so I kinda screamed and grabbed at him. He saw The Lion and was impressed but I could tell he didn't think it warranted a scream-grab. It's a sculpture of a lion's face that gazes out at the street. It is proud and benevolent. The Lion knows it is better than you but would never be tacky about it. I think seeing The Lion brings me good fortune and if I forget to look at it as I pass I feel a kind of terror. That's weird, right? Here is an artist's impression:

I had planned a rather fancy photoshop collage as a more fitting tribute to The Lion but I don't have photoshop on this computer and it was too hard to do on paint so I basically pasted a picture of a lion's face onto a picture of someone's window. Effective!

The Sign

Behind these showhouses the development is very much a work-in-progress. You would not be this happy if you were going to live in a muddy bog with a crane in the middle.

It's not a great shot but the bus moves quite quickly and I can't get out of the bus in this area for fear of having my iPod and camera stolen then being beaten because my camera is old and my iPod doesn't have any dubstep or whatever on it.

After The Sign we enter a bit of a wasteland. Partially demolished rowhouses on one side of the road; semi-detatched houses sporting England flags on the other side. In one of the driveways there is a burnt-out caravan that seems to get meltier every time I see it. Maybe the residents of the house re-light it at night for warmth. One of the houses has bright green shamrocks (about the size of a large human face) worked into the curlicues of the fence. I didn't photograph it because the owners of the fence are probably deranged.

Bellbrooke Cafe

This cafe is noteable for being the purveyor of both hot and cold sandwiches.

If I have a travelling companion I turn to them at this stage, nod and say, "Hot and cold sandwiches."

Nowhere Bench

Usually a bench will be near a bus stop or outside a building but this one is just plonked in the middle of a field. I've never seen anyone use it but it's often surrounded by spent cans of Special Brew which would indicate that it is a late-night homeless drinking spot.


Gas

The last thing is this amusement arcade that closed down years ago. It used to boast a light-up LAS VEGAS sign and windows full of classy and expensive goods like pharaoh death masks and urns.

Now look. Nothing in the windows, the previously dazzling LAS VEGAS reduced to mere GAS. I don't think they could even try to restore it to its former glory because a goth shop has set up next door. Tragic.