Do you...
(a) ...just go for it and let the chips (of phlegm) fall where they may.
(b) ...cover your mouth entirely with a cupped hand, thus shielding your companions and surroundings from being spattered with whatever flies out of your mouth.
Fair enough. These are both valid cough solutions. With the first one you've contaminated the area in front of you, maybe your keyboard, maybe the back of someone's head on the bus, but your hands are clean and safe and you'll be free to eat crisps or shake a baby's hand hygienically. With the second option you've coughed all over your hands but your friends and family are safe, your hands are easily washed at the nearest sink.
However there is a third, rogue option that I have noticed and that I want to talk about. The option of maximum germ spreadage. The Hand Tube.
This is when you feel a cough coming on, ball up your fist, hold it near your mouth and cough onto it. It's a covert way to spread your illness and misery because you get the appearance of giving a shit (because you've raised your hand) but your mouth isn't covered so germs are propelled in all directions, throat-detritus flying everywhere. Nothing is safe.
So next time someone coughs take careful notice of how they deal with it and react accordingly:
COUGHERS: Not to be trusted, but generally harmless.
COVERERS: Probably let them babysit your children.
HAND-TUBERS: Will kill you in your sleep.
N.B. Harold Shipman was a Hand-Tuber and so is this guy:
Kevin McCloud from Grand Designs.
Posts
the hand tube can also be caused by a sneeze that is too fast for the hand to get infront of the mouth
ReplyDeletefunny, with the tube you can aim the spread directly at someone. what about coughing into the neck of whatever top you have on, its self contained and your hands stay fresh
ReplyDeleteMy method depends on how sick I am. When the cold is in its infancy, I'm a full-mouth coverer. By the end of the sickness, I'm so worn out and tired I'm either forgoing a hand entirely, or just coughing without even opening my mouth at all.
ReplyDeleteMy mother's daycare used to tell kids to cough/sneeze into the crooks of their elbows. They called it a Sneeze Pocket.
I dunno morey, the cough matter might escape from your shirt or turtleneck or whatever and be diffused into a fine mist by the woven material. It's certainly something to think about!
ReplyDelete