SPAIN
Generic dude singing his generic song flanked by toy-costumed dancers. Boring, right? WRONG. Enter famed pitch invader Jimmy Jump a.k.a. some douche in a red beanie, who stormed the stage and joined in with the dancing toys. Security didn't remove him right away because:
a) He moved with such natural grace that the only way you knew he wasn't a real dancer was the shit-eating grin.
b) The Spanish performers were such pros that they didn't even let this guy bother them. They welcomed him into the dance!
So kudos to everyone involved. Watch it on YouTube!
NORWAY
This wasn't a highlight of the show just a highlight for me. I took this boring ballad as an opportunity to go to the kitchen and make cocktails for everyone. Then I thought about how Eurovision comes but once a year and I should cherish each song, no matter how dull.
CYPRUS
One year everyone had giant drums onstage, another year the wind machines were turned up to 11, then there was the fire year and so on. The theme for this year was 1990's fashion. I think Cyprus's entry was the best example. He had the 1995-style floppy-hair-and-large-white shirt-look of the late Stephen Gately; right down to the choker necklace thingy.
Despite repping Cyprus this guy is actually from Wales and kept exposing his torso; on which he'd written HELLO MUM.
SERBIA
In Eurovision there's no point rooting for your own country (well, in the case of the UK anyway) so pick your favourite and back them till the bitter end. My favourite this year was Serbia. It was a bold and jaunty number with sassy lyrics led by a character from Final Fantasy. We had the lyrics as well as the English translation scrolling across the bottom of the screen. It was something mental like, "This is the Balkans, bitch. I'm so naughty and shameful. Here in the Balkans we kiss three times. So suck it."
If this isn't amazing I guess I don't know anything about music. YouTube! I think that's a semi-final performance but you get the idea. I've listened to this song about 18 times now. Rad!
BELARUS
The commentator led us to believe that something pretty spectacular was going to happen during this performance so we were watching closely, waiting for it all to kick off. The song had almost ended and we'd given up hope when OH MY GOD! I was holding out for a key change or some wind machine action and did not expect all the female singers to sprout huge, sparkly wings. This delayed gratification approach did not impress the voters. The only country to place lower than them was the UK. Awkward!
FRANCE
What I want from France's song, nay, what I NEED from France's song is to be left elated, confused and patronised. 2008 was a good example; Sebastien Tellier rode onto the stage in a golf cart brandishing an inflatable globe. It was baffling. Even though it was mainly in English I couldn't tell you what that song was about in a million years. This year's French Eurovision song is also their World Cup song. It's very rowdy and dumb. You can probably guess how I feel about the ubiquitous football competition enroaching upon my beloved Eurovision. Damn you, World Cup!
RUSSIA
Notable for the spoken word bit near the end. The singer started staring at a picture in his hand and a voice off-stage said, "What are you doing, man?" To which the singer replied, "I'm looking at her picture. What should I do with it?" and the voice told him to burn it! Skip to 1:16 to see it. It's even weirder on second viewing. According to the YouTube comments it's supposed to be funny, in an ironically overwrought kinda way. It's really growing on me!
GERMANY
Eventual winner Lena for Germany was another 90's fashion entry. The choker, the berry lip colour, the Bjorkiness of her voice. It made me want to don a Kangol hat and listen to (What's the Story) Morning Glory?
Posts
Your blog teaches me all sorts of important things, like that Cyprus is an independent country. Did not know that.
ReplyDeleteI picked the wings - their costumes looked weirdly bulky and the song was called Butterflies, I was just waiting for those wings to pop out!
ReplyDeleteI had the Germany song stuck in my head for a week, so very catchy.
I knew you would steal my final fantasy comment damn yoooou!!
ReplyDeleteIt was so weird when we started to realise it was 90s theme i thought the rule was it has to have been out of style for 20 years?? This obviously dosen't apply to eurovision haha
That Russia song haunted me to the max :/
I think i might euro it up to the ultimate for my blog becuase you didn't mention the ones i was thinking of, euro this year reminded me of dawsons creek :D oh the days
euro 2010 FTW!!